Time to Step Back from the Running Water by Ian Watt

So there I am with the idea to change my entire life, but at the same time not knowing what it was that I was going to change? Obviously there are some things we simply can’t change, so the question was ultimately what could I change in my life? I realized that I didn’t know the answer to either of those questions. Furthermore, what was it that I was going to change my life into? Guess I didn’t know that either. All I knew is that I wanted a simple life, I wanted balance, and I wanted to have fun – all day, everyday.

Like a fat person wanting to be skinny, no like a fat person wanting to be fit, there is no shortcut or easy way to change your life. Actually, it’s possibly even harder than being fat because there aren’t too many organizations out there like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers to help people get their life and balance back in sync and be happy within all areas of their life. The reason I use weight as an analogy because most people can understand how easy it is on January 1st of every year to set a goal to lose weight and starving yourself can make a sudden impact on your overall density, but its a longterm lifestyle change that helps you truly become healthier on the inside and out. So no matter how you look at it, there is no easy route when it comes to breaking old habits and routines.

This is the only life I knew. I loved my work, and I loved being a dad, and other than being superficially happy with everything else in my life, thats as deep as it got. So the question became how can I be as happy doing other things in my life as I am when I’m with my kids or working, especially since I didn’t do anything but work or spend time with my kids? Great questions, unfortunately no answer… I had a feeling this was going to take a while to figure out and it wasn’t going to be easy.

Although I didn’t know the answers, I realized exactly what the next step was going to be after I read this Taoist proverb;

No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

Take a moment to think about that, pretty simple but quite profound. How can we see who we truly are if all we are doing is running from appointment, to engagement, and back to appointment again? I love that quote and that quote made me realize I needed to take a step back from the world I knew to explore who I was. Its true, if you really want to make changes you have to take a step back and not only see what you are you doing, but you also have to take another step back and truly see why you are doing the things you do. See what the things are that truly motivate us, scare and us and see what we are running from.

Without hesitation, I slowly started stepping back – I know some of you saw this as I received the hundreds of emails that began with the same “Ian are you ok? Haven’t seen you for a while…” would indicate. To set out towards the goal of making a simple life and quiet life, I decided to cut out everything that was a distraction, an irritation, or unhealthy (including people). I stopped speaking, travelling to conventions, being a part of the real estate community, I asked people to stop blogging about me and my business, stopped being social with acquaintances and people who I knew were friends solely because of business, connections and influence. I was barely on Facebook and I even deleted my Twitter account (and don’t miss it a bit). So thats exactly what I did, I hid. I hid from the life I knew, in hopes the waters would be still enough to see my reflection.

Of course there were things in my life I couldn’t run from. Responsibilities I had that I couldn’t put on hold, for example being a father, financial responsibilities like mortgages, my business and clients etc. So other than those things which I powered through on autopilot, all I did was think in hibernation. Unfortunately, when all I did was let my mind race day and night it caused me to sleep around 2 hours day and I lost nearly 40 lbs too. I was exhausted and weak but knew I was heading in the right direction.

You know how some people always need to be with people like a crutch and can’t be alone? Its like a dependancy that helps us from looking in the mirror. So being alone, without feeling lonely, was a goal I had during this time. For me it became very natural to be alone, and those times when I was feeling lonely I would call my best friend or my mom, or go visit my kids for the evening.

Over this 6 month period I spent a lot of time alone. This kept me grounded and focused on peeling back the layers bullshit and finding out who I was. I spent every day and night thinking about how wrapped up I was and why. Thinking about what a simple life meant to me, and what a balanced life meant to me as well. After months and months of self-discovery, therapy and honesty, I thought it was time to write down some goals to achieve balance and a simple life.

Eventually with endless days to reflect I came up with these 5 simple goals for my personal life (yes I have 5 for my business life too);

– Be Happy
– Be Healthy
– Be Present
– Work only 40 Hours a Week, and
– Get Busy Living

Great goals, but how was I going to achieve them?


Where my Search for Balance Began by Ian Watt

In early 2010 I noticed that things were moving so quickly for me. My IanWatt.ca business was great, working tons, was just getting ready to launch CondoGo.com, and I was traveling a lot doing social media speaking. I loved my life and still had a ton of passion for my work. I was full of confidence and nothing could stop me. 

I remember thinking, if I won $25,000,000 today I would still go to work tomorrow, that’s how much I loved my business. Unfortunately, with all this passion for work, all the hours invested, I hadn’t even realized that, other than my kids, I had no other passions or past times. 

Although I was having a ball day in and day out, I remember the feeling of getting home every night and being exhausted from working all the time, which consequently caused me to be, at moments, set off and at times erupt by the smallest of issues. I was too busy to consider or even notice those issues – actually I just would put it behind me and never think about it again which also meant I never thought about others too much or said sorry for pissing whole lot of people off. I was too busy to care. And running on adrenaline all day, everyday, I had no time to relax – no, I MADE no time to relax – and it was slowly killing me. Don’t misunderstand me, I was having the time of my life, so slowing down was the last thing on my mind.

To be perfectly honest with you, there was no major crash or hitting of the wall that opened my eyes to my reality, but I do remember sitting in a hotel room in Calgary when it all changed. 

I had just finished speaking at the Calgary Real Estate Board about how I run my business, and this questions was asked, what AM I doing here? If you’ve ever spent 3 days in Downtown Calgary I’m sure you have said the exact same thing, and if you haven’t, close your eyes and imagine New York, and the people, great restaurants, the action and the excitement… Now think of the most opposite place on earth and thats Calgary. A night there can make anyone question their being. 

So I’m walking around now in this frozen ghost town with absolutely nothing to do (Welcome to Calgary) thinking why am I doing this?Why did i come to speak in Calgary? I don’t need the money. My ego was already healthy enough. I didn’t want to become famous amongst realtors. I love giving back and think we all should, but what’s the point of all this? I didn’t even have any free time for myself. So why? 

So as I walked around in search of urban grocery store (never found one – again Welcome to Calgary) I realized the reason i was there, making more work for myself, was mainly because I had absolutely no hobbies, plus idle time drove me crazy, consequently work ultimately became my everything. 

So there I am, with nothing but idle time, which I hate, and nothing to do but think, I asked myself this… Why don’t I have hobbies? I used to have hobbies. I used to be fit. I used to be calm. But the most important thing I recollected or realized was that I used to work to make money, so i would have financial means to have fun. Now work was my fun. 

This same question kept coming back too, am I going to be one of those pathetic Realtors at one of those real estate conventions that has every material item ever sold to show success but nothing else to show for their life? Jesus I hope not. 

How did I get like this? How did my job become my life? How did my job become me? How did real estate become who I was. Where did the old Ian go? How did IanWatt.ca over take Ian Watt the person?

So like an alcoholic having a moment of clarity, I decided, fuck, I needed to get some balance and somehow become the old Ian again.  

And here is my journey…

PS 

Yes my writing is like a conversation, probably far from grammatically correct, and littered with typos… I know… but if you don’t like it, then i have a simple solution for you, don’t read it ; )