How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? I love that question. Think about that for a moment. The number of times the earth has rotated around the sun since you were born is a great measuring tool for starting kindergarten, getting a drivers license, and occupying a space at Del Boca Vista. However, other than that, measuring your age is one of the greatest disservices you can do to yourself. Why should your birth certificate dictate how old you are?
If I didn’t know that I was 38 years old, I would probably say I was about 25 in spirit, 30 in physical condition, 40 years old in experience and wisdom, and 13 in regards to my juvenile sense of humour. Yes there are parts of my life I will never grow out of, and my grade 8 sense of humour is one of them. My point is, I’m not letting my actual years on earth dictate how old I should feel or act for that matter.
The reason why this blog topic resonated with me is because after looking back at some photos of myself from about 3 to 8 years ago, I noticed that I certainly looked a lot older back then than I do now. Of course I had more hair, or I should say of course I had hair, but I also had huge bags under my eyes, I was 25 pounds heavier, I was so high strung and stressed all the time. I was in the worst physical shape of my life and balance wasn’t even something I thought of. I had a ton of work energy but had little energy left for anything else. I was physically, mentally and spiritually spent and looked like shit. If I didn’t know how old I was when I was 33, I would have guessed that I was in my late forties and on my way to stroke, heart attack, or bound to collapse from sheer exhaustion.
Now for another example, my parents – the most cautious and somewhat unadventurous couple when they were in their prime (sorry Fockers but its true) – and it wasn’t long ago when my dad was much heavier, looked older, and was grumpier too (sorry dad but that’s also true). Then all of a sudden a whole lot changed really quick one night. I remember it like it was yesterday, my dad was doubled over, clutching his chest and waking me to call the ambulance – how fun was that family vacation? A bunch of stints later, everything in their lives has changed for the better and they started really living like there was no tomorrow. They are both 67 years old, now retired and living in Cabo. Nobody who knew them 10 years ago would have predicted that they would pack up their Vancouver roots and move south of the border, down Mexico way. With a life that’s full of balance now including one key thing, which is taking care of themselves equally to everyone around them, they not only look 10 years younger, they now act 10 years younger too. They have really embraced the get busy living or get busy dying motto I live by and if they are wasting time, its next to the Sea of Cortez with their toes in the sand. They are full of energy and full of life and are always in great spirits now. They enjoy life and don’t sweat the small stuff like they used to. I am so proud to see them living like they are back in their early 50s again with a chance to do it over and do it right. Prime example of the importance of balance, mental and physical health, and most importantly not surrendering to a number on your passport and living the age you feel, not the age you are.
Now on the other end of the spectrum, I saw a good friend of mine last month, the night before she was taking her family on a vacation, and although she is only 41 she looked like she aged 5 years in the past 12 months (sorry but that’s true as well). She confessed that the night before she had cried herself to sleep as her life has become such a mess – certainly not the behaviour of someone who was excited to take her loved ones on a first class holiday. Unfortunately, anyone who has gone through a “marital transition” has done this kind of vacation, I call it the Guilt Trip. You know when you lie to yourself and deep down you know your marriage pretty much or completely over, but feel like you owe it to your kids and parents etc to give it one last ditch effort… So you take everyone away thinking it will make everything better, only to realize when you are on the trip you feel completely disconnected and all you are thinking is that you are just prolonging the inevitable but don’t know how to do it without hurting everyone? Yup, that’s a Guilt Trip. Its an amazingly stressful period for anyone regardless of the outcome and I certainly feel her pain. However, its beyond obvious that she isn’t taking proper care of herself, maybe internalizing everything, and putting everything and everyone ahead of her. I know she wont be like this forever, but for now her unbalanced life is getting the better of her and it breaks my heart. It was only a year or two ago that she looked 5 years younger than me.
We all have ups and downs and there are certainly challenging times behind us, around us, and ahead of us. However, being involved in which ever stage you are in, in regards to those tough times, its only human and natural that those difficult times consume your energy, thoughts, and ultimately hijack your mind and balance goes by the way side. I think we all know what I’m talking about.
It shows you that when you are solely focused on others, or work, or whatever, instead of being equally focused on taking care of yourself, it will not only throw your entire life out of balance, it will take a toll on you physically and mentally and it will no doubt expedite the amount you age in a real short period of time. Regaining your youth is certainly possible, but just like the movie Supersize Me where it took Morgan Spurlock 14 months to lose the weight he gained in 30 days, it may take years of balance to regain some youth that only a year of stress has robbed you of. The quicker you can focus on balance, and as selfish as it sounds focus on yourself, the faster you will start turning things around so eventually you can become the age that you are naturally accustomed to living.
No matter what any guru tells you, stress is unavoidable and there are very few things you can do to make very personal challenges less painful. However, there is hope. Like me, when I started being true to myself and taking care of myself as equally as all my loved ones, that’s when I started to roll back my years and started taking years of obvious stress off my face.
All of our stars shine at different times so take a look at yourself, whether your life is perfect, whether you are riding an up or a down, whether you are avoiding looking at your life honestly, or whether you have just come through and overcome one of the most stressful periods of your life and ask yourself this, how old do I look and feel in spirit compared to 2, 3 or 5 years ago? Older or Younger? And why is that?
Don’t let your drivers license dictate how old you are. Age is just a number and from those 3 examples above, I’m sure you can relate in one direction or another.
Think about this – How Old Would You Be If You Didn’t Know How Old You Were?








